He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
