Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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