Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
