Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
