I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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