Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
