I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
