you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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