Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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