I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
