Your mouth is God's brothel.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
