shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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