she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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