I must be too annoying 4 u.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize