She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
