I think my vagina is haunted
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
