I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
high people should be assigned attendants
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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