I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
