Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
