It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think i have two assholes
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
