I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
