He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
