I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I need to stop coming to work sober
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
