i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
