I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
