Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
