I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize