If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Drunk is not a location!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
