I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
