My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
