He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
