His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
