This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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