The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
