what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
