Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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