i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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