Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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