Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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