Sry I called you an 8
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
