me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
