I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
