all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
