I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
