I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
