So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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