What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
