dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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