laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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