Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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