I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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