Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
