And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
The air taste purple.
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