can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
