i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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