I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
