Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
