A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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