the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it because I queefed?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
