Buhtt sex?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
