): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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