cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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