I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
