he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
