And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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