I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
