So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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