Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
